The Association of Southern Schools has decided to pursue some of the seemingly endless taxpayer dollar pipeline through Washington designating Southern slang, or Y'allbonics, as a language to be taught in all Southern schools. The following are excerpts from the
Y'allbonics/English dictionary.

1.) HEIDI - (noun) -Greeting.

2.) HIRE YEW - Complete sentence. Remainder of greeting. Usage: "Heidi, Hire yew?"

3.) BARD - (verb) - Past tense of the infinitive "to borrow." Usage: "My brother bard my pickup truck."

4.) JAWJUH - (noun) - The state north of Florida. Capitol is Lanner. Usage: "My brother from Jawjuh bard my pickup truck and to! ok it to Lanner."

5.) BAMMER - (noun) - The state west of Jawjuh. Capitol is  Berminhayam. Usage: "A tornader jes went through Bammer an' left $20,000,000 in improvements."

6.) MUNTS - (noun) - A calendar division. Usage: "My brother from Jawjuh bard my pickup truck, and I ain't herd from him in munts."

7.) THANK - (verb) - Cognitive process. Usage: "Ah thank ah'll have a bare."

8.) BARE - (noun) - An alcoholic beverage made of barley, hops, and yeast. Usage: "Ah thank ah'll have a bare."

9.) IGNERNT - (adjective) - Not smart. See "Arkansas native." Usage: "Them bammer boys sure are ignernt!"

10.) RANCH - (noun)- tool used for tight'nin' bolts. Usage: "I thank I left my ranch in the back of that pickup truck my brother from Jawjuh bard a few munts ago."

11.) ALL - (noun) - A petroleum-based lubricant. Usage: "I sure hope my brother from Jawjuh puts all in my pickup truck."

12.) FAR - (noun) - A conflagratio! n. Usage: "If my brother from Jawjuh don't change the all in my pickup truck, that thing's gonna catch far."

13.) TAR - (noun) - A rubber wheel. Usage: "Gee, I hope that brother of mine from Jawjuh don't git a flat tar in my pickup truck."

14.) TIRE - (noun) - A tall monument. Usage: "Lord willin' and the creek don't rise, I sure do hope to see that Eiffel Tire in Paris sometime."

15.) RETARD - (verb) - To stop working. Usage: "My grampaw retard at age 65."

16.) FAT - (noun), (verb) - a battle or combat; to engage in battle or combat. Usage: "You younguns keep fat'n, n' ah'm gonna whup y'uh."

17.) RATS - (noun) - Entitled power or privilege. Usage: "We Southerners are willin' to fat for are rats."

18.) CHEER - (adverb) In this place. Usage: "Just set that bare rat cheer".

19.) FARN - (adjective) - Not domestic. Usage: "I cuddint unnerstand a wurd he sed ... must be from some farn country."

20.) DID - (adjective)! - Not alive. Usage: "He's did, Jim."

21.) ARE - (noun) - A colorless, odorless gas containing oxygen.  Usage: "He cain't breathe ... give 'im some ARE!"

22.) BOB WAR - (noun) - A sharp, twisted cable. Usage: "Boy, stay away from that bob war fence."

23.) JEW HERE - (noun) and (verb) contraction. Usage: "Jew here that  my brother from Jawjuh got a job with that bob war fence cump'ny?"

24.) HAZE - a contraction. Usage: "Is Bubba smart?" "Nah ... haze ignernt. He ain't thanked but a minnit'n 'is laf."

25.) SEED -(verb) - past tense of "to see". Usage: "I ain't never seed New York City".

26.) VIEW - contraction (verb) and pronoun. Usage: "I ain't never seed New York City ... view?"

27.) GUBMINT - (noun) - A bureaucratic institution. Usage: "Them gubmint boys shore is ignernt."

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